Through all of this personal striving to survive financially, He kept reminding me to write about the beautiful truths I was learning first hand, and His perfect providence in my life, and to begin mailing these to friends and acquaintances. How could I do this on a budget whose ends wouldn't even meet the essentials? How did He expect me to pay for this? Shamefully, I admit that there were times when I sat and sulked, telling the God of all creation that if He wanted it done, He had to pay for it because I couldn't! He is unflappable! I actually feared that He might justifiably snuff me out with one bolt of lightening or instant death for my attitude, but He calmly reassured me that this was His work, His fruit through me, and He would provide for it. In the meantime, I was to be obedient. Miraculously, I would find the resources for paper, ink and postage. Sometimes, unexpectedly, a friend would stop by with $20 and inform me: "God told me to give this to you for the mailing." Sometimes they questioned His judgment in this too, since they were struggling through their own financial deserts and coudn't afford to part with one dollar let alone twenty! But, we were on a "mission for God" and they were as much a part of it as I was. We were learning obedience and its beautiful rewards. He was teaching us to hear His voice and to always be obedient to it. In time we learned to hear Him so well that our stiff-necked insolence and backs arched into stubbornness, as well as our rebellious attitudes vanished. We learned that when He speaks, we are never to question, never to doubt. "No" is never an option. We were being taught to trust. We were being shown literally what is meant by "He is the vine, we are the branches; without Him we can do nothing." Unless we abided in Him, we would never see His goodness, we would never see His fruit in our lives. These are difficult lessons for headstrong, self-reliant, "I'll do it myself!" people to grasp. |
God was shining His light on little more than one foot at a time, teaching us all step-by-step to learn to recognize His voice and be obedient to it. In my experience, He never shines His light very far down that path into the future. We may think we want to know our future further than God reveals, but truthfully, most of us would not have the courage to face it if we did know it. He reveals what is beneficial and the rest is faith, hope and trusting in Him. Those characteristics are only learned by experience. |
We were sent clearly and unmistakably on many an adventure that resembled the treasure hunts of our childhood. Two friends were looking for new homes, and often He would send one or two of us out to look at a specific house, even providing the address for us! Sometimes, He would simply instruct us while driving, saying "go left or right" until we arrived where He had intended. Of course, in the beginning, we always leapt to the assumption that this was the perfect house, the one God intended for our friend. "No," He would say softly, "this is only "obedience training". The days will come when you will absolutely need to hear Me and hear Me clearly. This is how you learn to hear My voice and heed it." With my satirical sense of humor, I likened this to training a dog and rather resented the analogy! "How else would you learn it?", He'd ask gently. "To learn patience, trust, faith, and hope you must experience their opposites and withstand their testing." Truly, how else would we ever learn these? Always with a ready answer on my lips and in my finite, little mind, I would suggest that He was Almighty God and He could just miraculously give us those traits! "No, child, the trying of your patience works faith in you. Don't miss the joy of the journey of learning. These are not hard lessons but lessons of love and joy! Learn to experience the "now of life" in this process for I am doing great and mighty works in your life." |
When the trials of the world weren't encroaching too closely, I did rejoice to see His daily miracles, to experience the awesome way He turned every minor disaster into a visible miracle of His closeness and the power of His providence. These were moments of such overpowering awe and wonder that at times I gave Him permission to root out and tear down more of my pathetic life just so I could experience more of Him in it. Yes, I did have friends remind me to be careful what I asked for because I just might get it! Well, I wanted His best for me so if all else had to go, so be it! I promised Him I would walk wherever He said if only He would show me the way. Always would come His assurance that He was making wonderful changes in my life and that I would see them. In the meantime, He continued instructing me to clearly hear Him, and taught me the importance of obedience in even the smallest detail. |
Site last updated on: 12/27/03
Overpowering awe and wonder! Miracle upon miracle! |
You learn to recognize a voice by hearing it repeatedly. That was part of my training, because He said, "The days will come when you will absolutely need to hear Me, and hear Me clearly." |
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this painting is so awesome, it could be the 4 of us: two blonds, Carol and Vi, the brunette is Barb and the raven-haired one is me, Lin |
